1. |
a better way to live
02:52
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I guess I've got a lot of nerve showing up around here
I mean yeah, this is my room
And I'm just talking to myself
But god I swear I used to smile more
Even liked the way it felt
But it's been seven months since you told me you loved me
I mean, you tell me all the time
It's not like you never say it
It's kinda more like I don't hear it
Like I don't want to hear it
Cause it sends a little spark up through my nerves into my brain
Into the part of me that's sleeping and doesn't want to wake up
It goes:
Hey
HEY
There's a better way to live
That's not this whole weird thing we keep doing to ourselves
We do it to ourselves
I've got a lot of guts
But all they do is sit inside me and take up space
Churn and ache
They tell me when I'm making a terrible mistake
But they also tell me I should eat a whole pint of ice cream
And yeah, I guess
I don't know who I trust the best
The angel or the demon or the pain in my chest
When you tell me you're leaving me
And it goes:
Hey
Hey hey
There's a better way to live
That's not this whole weird thing you keep doing to yourself
You do it to yourself
But there's a better way to live
So here's to writing songs for fun forever
Bingeing out on life's dull pleasures
Paying my rent with my guitar
Surviving without a fucking car
Indulging my narcissistic whining
And once a week play Dungeons And Dragons with friends
These are all fun alternatives to dying
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2. |
philadelphia
02:07
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Down by the water
We landed there
New Jersey cursing us across the Delaware
Distance is distance
No matter the style
Measured in feelings or nautical miles
Somebody's missing you
Somebody's missing me too
Under the covers we're hot blooded lovers
And the AC can't keep us cool
Fuck it, I'm staying tonight
This island looked much smaller from the outside
I swear you're the only thing keeping me right
And without you I'm done
Damn it, I'm done with this heat
Kiss me and bite on my neck til it bleeds
I swear you're the only thing that I need
Without you I'm done
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3. |
before you quit
01:41
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See you in the summer
When the leaves are turning green
When all is at it seems
From the dirt to the top of the tallest tree
And I will bite my tongue until I'm back under your wing
You won't feel a thing
But my scratched-up skipping a beat
What you're selling is overwhelming
I don't care who you are
If you think you've got problems no one can solve
Then meet me where the sun don't set
You can learn to live without love yet
It's just a case of giving it another try before you quit
Promise me you'll write me as a character inside
One of those stories you write
Flesh me out, just try your best
I have lost myself before, but this is just the start
Following my heart's never going to beat a GPS
I still haven't learned that yet
What you're selling is overwhelming
I don't care who you are
If you think you've got problems no one can solve
Then meet me where the sun don't set
You can learn to live without love yet
It's just a case of giving it another try before you quit
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4. |
PERSONAL MILTON WADDAMS
03:53
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I've realised that even when I'm up I'm depressed
My depression is seperate to my emotion
It's job is to isolate and attack any positive feelings
And that's okay
Like, that's okay
I have lots of parts of me that have jobs I don't understand
That buzz around poking and pinching at this and that
Doing the job they were put there to do
My depression is one of them
It sits in my head with a big red stand marked INVALID
And dutifully voids and feelings of hope or faith or happiness
Day up and day down
Until days lose distinction
And this poor little bastard never, ever clocks out
I mean, is it waiting for me?
To say "Hey, good job there!
Get some sleep!"
Is it going to keep working harder and harder and harder
Until I tell it its efforts have counter for something?
That it wasn't just a mistake,
Or just the product of a staggering error in judgment?
Promoted not for its talent and work ethic
But because someone somewhere fucked up the paperwork?
Your own personal Milton Waddams
Someone to hear your prayers and dripfeed you problems
And all it wants is to be it belongs there
And then maybe it will...
I don't know
I want to say stop there
But I don't think it needs to
A part of me with a preternatural knack for finding the tiniest speck of joy in a towering stack of meaningless data?
I could use someone like that
Give it more sociable hours
And some backdated holiday pay
And that fucking stamp, the one marked INVALID
I'll buy my depression a new one that says something better
And if it still prefers the old one
Then maybe I'll just chisel off the first two letters
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5. |
that's me knocking
02:46
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I'm just waiting for this holiday to end
Sleeping hard not knowing when I'll sleep again
Keeping secrets from everyone I meet
Keeping time watching shadows walk the street
I will walk across this nation's shell
Goes on forever, looping back upon itself
We've been talking, tin cans on a wire
Your voice sounds like wet wood on a fire
That's me knocking at the entrance to your den
I'm just waiting for a place to take me home
Somewhere distant, long-forgotten, overgrown
I still remember how to the old songs used to go
Because I've been singing them to nobody you know
That's me knocking at the entrance to your den
Get your boots on, come on down, invite me in
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6. |
clockwork
03:35
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So what brings you around here
I've been looking through my schedule, but i don't see your name at all
It's a funny kind of freedom
That grips you by the throat and never ever lets you go
I know you probably just came around to talk
And that's nice and all
But I can see that clockwork mind of yours ticking along
And I know where this is leading
And I know that I will follow you
Good god, I've had adventures
You won't believe the wonders of this world I have seen
I grabbed this city by the neck and I knocked it to the ground
I took its wallet
I kicked in its teeth
And when I'd sucked all of the goodness from its heart
I left it by the roadside
I wiped my mouth and ran into the dark
I guess what I'm trying to say is
I haven't just been sitting here waiting for your call
No
No way
So one more shake of your hand
And then I've really got to get away
And catch my train
I know speeding through the night
I'll feel like something in my chest is giving up
Or going to break
Maybe I'll just sleep until it's done
Wake up in the morning, this clockwork heart of mine ticking along
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7. |
the answer
04:43
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I can see the traffic
I can see al the people in their cars
All locked up in a panic
Wondering when life is ever really going to start
I think we're all just waiting for jesus
To drop down on a wire and say
"guys, it's me, you never will believe this
but God is a Question
And you and me are just mathematicians
And I have run all the numbers
I have lifted the lumber
And we have the answer:
there is love in here
there is love in here
we don't have to be so scared all the time"
I can feel the pulsing
The universe is pumping like a heart
I guess that makes us bloodcells
Fighting off infection in the dark
I think we're all just waiting for jesus
But we're all just waiting for nothing
Because blood don't have a soul
It's just there to keep this old machine running
And if God is a Question
Then you and me are just mathematicians
I think you're getting bored of me, mixing my metaphors
But I have the answer
There is love in here
There is love in here
We don't have to be so scared all the time
I can see the future
At least the future coming up behind me
Slipping in between the cracks of all the ducks I've set up in a line
I think we're all just waiting for someone
to wrap us up in cellophane and send us off to somewhere warm
And if God is a Question
And you and me are just mathematicians
Then I am writing this song just to speed things along
Until we have the answer
There is love in here
So much love in here
I can see it, there is love in here
We don't have to be so scared all the time
<3
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